Get the door, it's the liquor store
Hello, stranger — step right up to Grand Prairie, Texas! Mind the wagon wheels! Temper your tired tendons in the tepid depths of Joe Pool Lake! Suffering from frostbites, chill blains, or other bad humors of the dermis? We’ve got 234 days of succulent sunlight per year, and that’s enough... to cure just about any malady inflicted by the icy teeth of northern climes! Has the mind-numbing monotony of modernity muddled your marbles? Fear not, friend — Grand Prairie’s packed with enough parks to vivify even the most torpid of mental constitutions. Why, we’ve got Lone Star Park, Mountain Creek Lake Park, Lynn Creek, Lloyd, Estes, and so many more that we’d wear you out with our wobblin’ jaw if we were to list them all. I know what you’re thinking, friend: Can a fella find employment in this Grand Prairie? There are three answers to that query: Yes, yes, and yes! Grand Prairie’s got a job market so mountainous it could employ the hog’s share of Dallas! Our grass is green, and our streets are free of grit, gravel, grime, and all other unsavory particulates! And I don’t mean to tell tales out of school here, pal, but folks in Grand Prairie get their beer, moonshine, wines, and firewater delivered in less than 60 turns of the minute-hand. That’s through some contraption called the “Drizly app” — those folks stock their shelves with a selection of local liquors that you can order in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. So step right up and sit right back cause it’s coming to your door!